Two One Two

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All other lights have faded

No more time to be so jaded

To all you don’t touch

All you don’t see

All of the things you won’t ever be

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You’re waiting on some big party

That’s waiting for you to get started

Your friends and family

For all eternity

But what do we do when we’re ready to leave?

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Forget what you’ve seen, forget what you’ve heard

You forget all the words

When you’re singing your final song

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In heaven

Annihilated with open hearts

I was talking to God until I lost my will

In everlasting arms

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In heaven

I split and dissolve back into place

How could there be you or me, in eternity

I forget your face in heaven

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Some voice calls you away from here

Some voice tells you to have no fear

Saying “Don’t be afraid of love or of hate

We’re moving past all of that anyway”

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I prayed to God not to make me a man

Just enfold me into your masterplan

I cannot stand these veins on my hand

I say goodbye to my body, I say goodbye to I am

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In heaven

Annihilated with open hearts

I was talking to God until I lost my will

In everlasting arms

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In heaven

I split and dissolve back into place

How could there be you or me, in eternity

I forget my face

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When I see purple skies, neon doors

How could we ever ask for more

Can we forget what it meant to get bored

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So I lose my body, lose my mind

I lost myself when I’ll get out of time

Everything I learned I’m leaving behind

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In heaven

Annihilated with open hearts

I was talking to God until I lost my will

In everlasting arms

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In heaven

I split and dissolve back into place

How could there be you or me, in eternity

I forget our face

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It tears me apart

When I go back to the start

Let's Don't

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Let’s don’t talk about it

Let’s don’t bother each other

Let’s don’t embarrass ourselves

Let’s don’t fall in love

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It was just a manner of speech, a matter of mind

Both out of time

You spent way too much time

Checking if I was online

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You had all of the lies, about all you need

Rocky start, afternoon sun, big speech

Maybe you watch too many old movies, I’m more like

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Let’s don’t take a good thing and romanticize it

I didn’t want to tell you but I couldn’t hide it

I don’t feel that way, no I don’t feel that way at all

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So that was called love, what is this called?

I can’t follow you at all,

Saying “Oh I need you, I don’t need you”

How can I ever believe you, you said

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“I’ll keep a place for you, even if you don’t want me to”

So now I have to worry about you

*With something to call your very own

Sparrows still fall when you’re all alone

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Let’s don’t talk about the way things were

We went from inside jokes to slamming doors

That’s not what I meant to say, not what I meant to say at all

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Let’s don’t fixate, I don’t want to talk about it

I’m not yours just because you stand and shout it

There’s more than one way out of it

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Let’s don’t talk about it

Let’s don’t bother each other

Let’s don’t embarrass ourselves

Let’s don’t fall in love

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Let’s don’t take reality and try to deny it

I didn’t want to tell you, but I couldn’t hide it

I don’t feel that way, no I don’t feel that way at all

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Let’s don’t take this thing that means so much to me

And turn it into what you thought it should be

Don’t you want something you’ve never seen?

Mask Song

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Oh my god

What the hell is going on?

This isn’t what I signed up for

Wasn’t there going to be so much more?

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You thought I’d

Make your dreams come true, you’d feel alive

But you don’t listen to a goddamn word

You made me up from all the songs you heard

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Take it off your face and you’ll feel alright

Love to tell the world it’s all very fine

I put on my mask and I’m hypnotized

Who am I when I say no more—

You might as well be dead to everyone

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Would you or I

Be better people in some other life?

Or would we stay up on the same bullshit,

Building walls up bit by bit

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We don’t have fun,

We don’t get drunk, we don’t fall in love

I was inside of my memory

Before it started even happening

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Take it off your face and you’ll feel alright

Love to tell the world it’s all very fine

I put on my mask and I’m hypnotized

Who am I when I say no more—

You might as well be dead to everyone

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I woke up to feel the mask fall from my face

Left as someone named Jordan,

I nearly had a fit

But it’s something I wouldn’t admit

Take it off your face and you’ll feel alright

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Love to tell the world it’s all very fine

I put on my mask and I’m hypnotized

Who am I when I say no more—

You might as well be dead to everyone

Swan

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Well love is a bird

With a shit attitude

If you don’t love me then I’ll love you

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Say someone falls in love with you,

Back when you could still seem removed

But now the real you has begun to come through

And they start to stop feeling it too

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How did it end up like this?

There’s something I must have missed

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It’s a charm only I see

It’s a curse only for me

I bite you and you bite me

It’s jealousy, nothing else beneath

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You said you felt like an American Mark Corrigan

Well I always felt like an American Mark Corrigan

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It never ever ever ends

As far as I can tell

No matter how close you get

You still have to be someone to them

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The performance never ends

Lightning is not permanent

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It’s a charm only I see

It’s a curse only for me

I bite you and you bite me

I’ll be up for hours dissecting it piece by piece

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(I dream what your world must be like)

I can’t get it out of my mind

So I stay a bird all the time

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So you prick them to see if they bleed,

An unwilling giant as far as the eye can see,

But could I be

The one fucking it up for me

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You act like the object of your affection

They leave and it just turns to depression

Do I even like the things I like anymore?

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This is the

This is the wrong genre

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It’s a charm only I see

It’s a curse only for me

I bite you and you bite me

I swear it must be the swan in me

Either/Or

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You’ve got a lot of nerve but you’re missing skin, you’re missing it

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Won’t you tell me something that you don’t believe,

Make it interesting

My ideas have been nothing but sayings I’ve received

From books we both don’t read

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And I read something telling me that what you say

Doesn’t count for a lot

We will never understand each other

Through the fear, distress, paradox

When it’s

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Either or either or either or either or either

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IT’S JUST PURE EXHILARATION

it’s just pure exhilaration

I don’t want a reconciliation

Oh don’t give me your mediation

When it’s

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Either or either or either or either or either

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Well I’m sick of your shit

And I don’t have to be here

Ivan

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1

Alex, I’ve been collecting all the evidence

For my case against everyone

Like so many marks of Cain, these crimes of hate

Will outlast all your works of love

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Is it just the way we were born

Is it just the way we were brought up

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You tell me to be strong, you tell me it won’t be long

You tell me to accept the shit I see

I never asked to eat the apple

All my life I’ve had to permit the infamy

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Is it just the way we were born

Is it just the way we were brought up

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I want to be reborn, but I’m afraid to die

All these horrible things, I can’t leave them behind

All the sticky leaves in spring are sticking to me

I am so afraid of suffocating

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As soon as I decide there is no treaty to be signed

The endless rebellion comes back on

Leading me to tempt the tormentor, and so I return the ticket

Even if I must be wrong

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Is it just the way we were brought up

Is it just the way we were born

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2

The silent fears of eternal flame,

The wild hearts we cannot tame,

The wretched beasts who murder and maim,

I want them all in heaven

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The ones who never played the game,

The ones who never knew the name,

The ones who lived a life in shame,

I want them all in heaven

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Those who saw through the glass,

Those who lived in darkness past,

Those who fell down and breathed their last,

I want them all in heaven

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Those who cannot help but oppress,

Those who choose under duress,

Those whose hearts have known no tests,

I want them all in heaven

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The one who drops the bomb and cries,

The one who doesn’t have to face his crime,

The one who kills, the one who dies,

I want them all in heaven

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Those souls coming apart at the seams,

The pure of heart, whatever that means,

The ones collecting finer things, the ones who sleep and do not dream,

I want them all in heaven

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I want to see with my own eyes

The lion lie next to the hind

The victim come up to rise

And embrace their murderer in heaven

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Still I ask, is there a place for me and you?

Among the lies was anything true

But what else can we do besides

Bow our heads and pray to heaven

Alyosha 1

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Who has the right to forgive—not you, not I

Who has the right to forgive, who has the right to decide

Who has the right to forgive—not you, not I

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John I told you my heart is as full of hate as anyone

The angel on my shoulder is as full of shit as yours

I am not so much in the sun

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I tell you, we all feel it too

We’re all in this together

I can only sit next to you

My answers are no better

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I see the contempt in your eyes

For my smile, for how well I play the part

You look to me, maybe you don’t see

That devil lying in my heart

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I can no longer tell

Who is sick and who is well

You’re obsessed with how the punishment is dealt

But it’s not heaven, it’s not hell

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In the books that we read

In canonized memories

You’re all that I see

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If I could change my life

Change my body

Change into someone you like

Could I put up a fight

Alyosha 2

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We dress it up new time new place

Give it new clothes, new name

Through new generations

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The feeling is still the same

Emotion is still the same

Same suffocation

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I saw the world and I set my stance

I didn’t mean to, it’s just become who I am

*Turn the current around

*And maybe I won’t drown

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I prayed to God not to make me a man

But just look at these ugly veins on my hand

Give me the strength to not

Give a shit

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Goodbye body

Goodbye to all of that

All I carry with me

Is not what I wanted to be

But I just look at this body

Maybe I don’t want this body

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Goodbye body

Goodbye to all of that

I fell down and wept

For what wasn’t yet

So I just look at this body

Can’t let go of this body

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One to One

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Touch my shoulder, shift my gaze

Calm me down at the end of days

Secrets pass, we don’t move our lips

I start to feel the world in my fingertips

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I think you must live somewhere up above

Nothing you do is ever a mistake

Nothing you say is unimportant

Everything I am just fades away

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You know the end is coming through the door

You try the lock and ask for more

With no one to tell us

What we came here for

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It was one to one

One to one

I sit at your side

I come undone

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How could I read your mind

When I don’t know mine?

I see the world is falling apart

And in my heart I find

All I have is one to one

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Don’t know what I perceive anymore

Don’t know if I can make it through my own front door

All I want is all I see

A moment collapses into infinity

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You want to connect one to one

With love in our hearts we come undone,

Spill out into the world and forget who we are

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Are we still one to one

One to one

I sit at your side

I come undone

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How could I read your mind

When I don’t know mine?

I see the world is falling apart

And in my heart I find

All I have is one to one

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Feeling It Too

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You have no idea what I’m about to say

Sometimes it’s oh how I want you—

Please just go away

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And I have no idea what you’re about to do

I talk & I talk & I talk & I

Don’t get through

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And I can see

You’re not feeling it too

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The only kind of good language is one made for two

Half in references, every word you said felt so new.

Now when I reach out to try to talk to you,

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Like ends of perpendicular rays, I’m moving sideways,

We met once and every day we get farther away

It’s all out of tune

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You deny the sun, I deny the moon

Reality disappears when you’re not feeling it too

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That blue light shines so bright

I no longer believe my eyes

It’s sad to see you there

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Do we live the same night, same day

I know when it’s too good to stay

Maybe one day I’ll see you there

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Do you want something more impressive—

Do you think that mystics were just depressed—

Do you think it’s true—but what else can I do

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When I see those people up on the hill,

All in sync with God, all on the same holy pill—

I try to say I’ll be waiting for you

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But I sing swan songs, you hear whistling tunes

My world disappears when you’re not feeling it too

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Do we live the same night, same day

I always answer what you might say

I always think that you’re there

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We were so far away from home

I never learned how to be on my own

I could not hold up my end

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Now like a flustered swan in love

I never know what you’re thinking of

It’s just not the same

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When I’m bored and old

Will you leave me all alone

Will you hear what I say

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Some Home

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Well it’s coming along

We just keep moving on

It’s all been said, it’s all been done,

Before long it’ll all be gone

I don’t want it anymore

We’re not like we were before

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I saw a flood coming on

I saw my own swan song

I saw flames

I saw lights

I saw fear in a handful of nights

With my eyes open I cannot see

Let me hear you listening

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I heard screams and cries

I heard so many lies

I heard how, I heard why

Why we’ll all perish, why we’ll all survive

When I listen to your call

I don’t hear anything at all

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Well it’s coming along

We just keep moving on

It’s all been said, it’s all been done,

Before long it’ll all be gone

I don’t want it anymore

We’re not like we were before

Slide Away

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I close my eyes and I see you again

I close my eyes and the world keeps on spinning

I break down piece by piece

I dream I don’t fall asleep

The ghosts in the next room wail and get

on with their lives, saying

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“Nothing’s gonna fall back into place

But you can’t let go

When no one really knows

How to erase every trace”

I don’t want to slide away

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You said at some point you’ve got to end it all,

Saying it’s all so relentless, it’s all so vile

I keep the levee in place

And I feel every mistake

The mask cracks and I can’t remember

what you look like

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Nothing’s gonna fall back into place

But you can’t let go

When no one really knows

How to erase every trace—

I don’t want to slide away