Let’s don’t talk about it
Let’s don’t bother each other
Let’s don’t embarrass ourselves
Let’s don’t fall in love
It was just a manner of speech, a matter of mind
Both out of time
You spent way too much time
Checking if I was online
You had all of the lies, about all you need
Rocky start, afternoon sun, big speech
Maybe you watch too many old movies, I’m more like
Let’s don’t take a good thing and romanticize it
I didn’t want to tell you but I couldn’t hide it
I don’t feel that way, no I don’t feel that way at all
So that was called love, what is this called?
I can’t follow you at all,
Saying “Oh I need you, I don’t need you”
How can I ever believe you, you said
“I’ll keep a place for you, even if you don’t want me to”
So now I have to worry about you
*With something to call your very own
Sparrows still fall when you’re all alone
Let’s don’t talk about the way things were
We went from inside jokes to slamming doors
That’s not what I meant to say, not what I meant to say at all
Let’s don’t fixate, I don’t want to talk about it
I’m not yours just because you stand and shout it
There’s more than one way out of it
Let’s don’t talk about it
Let’s don’t bother each other
Let’s don’t embarrass ourselves
Let’s don’t fall in love
Let’s don’t take reality and try to deny it
I didn’t want to tell you, but I couldn’t hide it
I don’t feel that way, no I don’t feel that way at all
Let’s don’t take this thing that means so much to me
And turn it into what you thought it should be
Don’t you want something you’ve never seen?
Oh my god
What the hell is going on?
This isn’t what I signed up for
Wasn’t there going to be so much more?
You thought I’d
Make your dreams come true, you’d feel alive
But you don’t listen to a goddamn word
You made me up from all the songs you heard
Take it off your face and you’ll feel alright
Love to tell the world it’s all very fine
I put on my mask and I’m hypnotized
Who am I when I say no more—
You might as well be dead to everyone
Would you or I
Be better people in some other life?
Or would we stay up on the same bullshit,
Building walls up bit by bit
We don’t have fun,
We don’t get drunk, we don’t fall in love
I was inside of my memory
Before it started even happening
Take it off your face and you’ll feel alright
Love to tell the world it’s all very fine
I put on my mask and I’m hypnotized
Who am I when I say no more—
You might as well be dead to everyone
I woke up to feel the mask fall from my face
Left as someone named Jordan,
I nearly had a fit
But it’s something I wouldn’t admit
Take it off your face and you’ll feel alright
Love to tell the world it’s all very fine
I put on my mask and I’m hypnotized
Who am I when I say no more—
You might as well be dead to everyone
Well love is a bird
With a shit attitude
If you don’t love me then I’ll love you
Say someone falls in love with you,
Back when you could still seem removed
But now the real you has begun to come through
And they start to stop feeling it too
How did it end up like this?
There’s something I must have missed
It’s a charm only I see
It’s a curse only for me
I bite you and you bite me
It’s jealousy, nothing else beneath
You said you felt like an American Mark Corrigan
Well I always felt like an American Mark Corrigan
It never ever ever ends
As far as I can tell
No matter how close you get
You still have to be someone to them
The performance never ends
Lightning is not permanent
It’s a charm only I see
It’s a curse only for me
I bite you and you bite me
I’ll be up for hours dissecting it piece by piece
(I dream what your world must be like)
I can’t get it out of my mind
So I stay a bird all the time
So you prick them to see if they bleed,
An unwilling giant as far as the eye can see,
But could I be
The one fucking it up for me
You act like the object of your affection
They leave and it just turns to depression
Do I even like the things I like anymore?
This is the
This is the wrong genre
It’s a charm only I see
It’s a curse only for me
I bite you and you bite me
I swear it must be the swan in me
You’ve got a lot of nerve but you’re missing skin, you’re missing it
Won’t you tell me something that you don’t believe,
Make it interesting
My ideas have been nothing but sayings I’ve received
From books we both don’t read
And I read something telling me that what you say
Doesn’t count for a lot
We will never understand each other
Through the fear, distress, paradox
When it’s
Either or either or either or either or either
IT’S JUST PURE EXHILARATION
it’s just pure exhilaration
I don’t want a reconciliation
Oh don’t give me your mediation
When it’s
Either or either or either or either or either
Well I’m sick of your shit
And I don’t have to be here
1
Alex, I’ve been collecting all the evidence
For my case against everyone
Like so many marks of Cain, these crimes of hate
Will outlast all your works of love
Is it just the way we were born
Is it just the way we were brought up
You tell me to be strong, you tell me it won’t be long
You tell me to accept the shit I see
I never asked to eat the apple
All my life I’ve had to permit the infamy
Is it just the way we were born
Is it just the way we were brought up
I want to be reborn, but I’m afraid to die
All these horrible things, I can’t leave them behind
All the sticky leaves in spring are sticking to me
I am so afraid of suffocating
As soon as I decide there is no treaty to be signed
The endless rebellion comes back on
Leading me to tempt the tormentor, and so I return the ticket
Even if I must be wrong
Is it just the way we were brought up
Is it just the way we were born
2
The silent fears of eternal flame,
The wild hearts we cannot tame,
The wretched beasts who murder and maim,
I want them all in heaven
The ones who never played the game,
The ones who never knew the name,
The ones who lived a life in shame,
I want them all in heaven
Those who saw through the glass,
Those who lived in darkness past,
Those who fell down and breathed their last,
I want them all in heaven
Those who cannot help but oppress,
Those who choose under duress,
Those whose hearts have known no tests,
I want them all in heaven
The one who drops the bomb and cries,
The one who doesn’t have to face his crime,
The one who kills, the one who dies,
I want them all in heaven
Those souls coming apart at the seams,
The pure of heart, whatever that means,
The ones collecting finer things, the ones who sleep and do not dream,
I want them all in heaven
I want to see with my own eyes
The lion lie next to the hind
The victim come up to rise
And embrace their murderer in heaven
-
Still I ask, is there a place for me and you?
Among the lies was anything true
But what else can we do besides
Bow our heads and pray to heaven
Who has the right to forgive—not you, not I
Who has the right to forgive, who has the right to decide
Who has the right to forgive—not you, not I
John I told you my heart is as full of hate as anyone
The angel on my shoulder is as full of shit as yours
I am not so much in the sun
I tell you, we all feel it too
We’re all in this together
I can only sit next to you
My answers are no better
I see the contempt in your eyes
For my smile, for how well I play the part
You look to me, maybe you don’t see
That devil lying in my heart
I can no longer tell
Who is sick and who is well
You’re obsessed with how the punishment is dealt
But it’s not heaven, it’s not hell
In the books that we read
In canonized memories
You’re all that I see
If I could change my life
Change my body
Change into someone you like
Could I put up a fight
We dress it up new time new place
Give it new clothes, new name
Through new generations
The feeling is still the same
Emotion is still the same
Same suffocation
I saw the world and I set my stance
I didn’t mean to, it’s just become who I am
*Turn the current around
*And maybe I won’t drown
I prayed to God not to make me a man
But just look at these ugly veins on my hand
Give me the strength to not
Give a shit
Goodbye body
Goodbye to all of that
All I carry with me
Is not what I wanted to be
But I just look at this body
Maybe I don’t want this body
Goodbye body
Goodbye to all of that
I fell down and wept
For what wasn’t yet
So I just look at this body
Can’t let go of this body
Touch my shoulder, shift my gaze
Calm me down at the end of days
Secrets pass, we don’t move our lips
I start to feel the world in my fingertips
I think you must live somewhere up above
Nothing you do is ever a mistake
Nothing you say is unimportant
Everything I am just fades away
You know the end is coming through the door
You try the lock and ask for more
With no one to tell us
What we came here for
It was one to one
One to one
I sit at your side
I come undone
How could I read your mind
When I don’t know mine?
I see the world is falling apart
And in my heart I find
All I have is one to one
Don’t know what I perceive anymore
Don’t know if I can make it through my own front door
All I want is all I see
A moment collapses into infinity
You want to connect one to one
With love in our hearts we come undone,
Spill out into the world and forget who we are
Are we still one to one
One to one
I sit at your side
I come undone
How could I read your mind
When I don’t know mine?
I see the world is falling apart
And in my heart I find
All I have is one to one
You have no idea what I’m about to say
Sometimes it’s oh how I want you—
Please just go away
And I have no idea what you’re about to do
I talk & I talk & I talk & I
Don’t get through
And I can see
You’re not feeling it too
The only kind of good language is one made for two
Half in references, every word you said felt so new.
Now when I reach out to try to talk to you,
Like ends of perpendicular rays, I’m moving sideways,
We met once and every day we get farther away
It’s all out of tune
You deny the sun, I deny the moon
Reality disappears when you’re not feeling it too
That blue light shines so bright
I no longer believe my eyes
It’s sad to see you there
Do we live the same night, same day
I know when it’s too good to stay
Maybe one day I’ll see you there
Do you want something more impressive—
Do you think that mystics were just depressed—
Do you think it’s true—but what else can I do
When I see those people up on the hill,
All in sync with God, all on the same holy pill—
I try to say I’ll be waiting for you
But I sing swan songs, you hear whistling tunes
My world disappears when you’re not feeling it too
Do we live the same night, same day
I always answer what you might say
I always think that you’re there
We were so far away from home
I never learned how to be on my own
I could not hold up my end
Now like a flustered swan in love
I never know what you’re thinking of
It’s just not the same
When I’m bored and old
Will you leave me all alone
Will you hear what I say
In heaven
I gave up my heart
It just tore me apart
I take it all back to the start
In heaven
All other lights have faded
No more time to be so jaded
To all you don’t touch
All you don’t see
All of the things you won’t ever be
You’re waiting on some big party
That’s waiting for you to get started
Your friends and family
For all eternity
But what do we do when we’re ready to leave?
Forget what you’ve seen, forget what you’ve heard
You forget all the words
When you’re singing your final song
In heaven
Annihilated with open hearts
I was talking to God until I lost my will
In everlasting arms
In heaven
I split and dissolve back into place
How could there be you or me, in eternity
I forget your face in heaven
Some voice calls you away from here
Some voice tells you to have no fear
Saying “Don’t be afraid of love or of hate
We’re moving past all of that anyway”
I prayed to God not to make me a man
Just enfold me into your masterplan
I cannot stand these veins on my hand
I say goodbye to my body, I say goodbye to I am
In heaven
Annihilated with open hearts
I was talking to God until I lost my will
In everlasting arms
In heaven
I split and dissolve back into place
How could there be you or me, in eternity
I forget my face
When I see purple skies, neon doors
How could we ever ask for more
Can we forget what it meant to get bored
So I lose my body, lose my mind
I lost myself when I’ll get out of time
Everything I learned I’m leaving behind
In heaven
Annihilated with open hearts
I was talking to God until I lost my will
In everlasting arms
In heaven
I split and dissolve back into place
How could there be you or me, in eternity
I forget our face
It tears me apart
When I go back to the start
Well it’s coming along
We just keep moving on
It’s all been said, it’s all been done,
Before long it’ll all be gone
I don’t want it anymore
We’re not like we were before
I saw a flood coming on
I saw my own swan song
I saw flames
I saw lights
I saw fear in a handful of nights
With my eyes open I cannot see
Let me hear you listening
I heard screams and cries
I heard so many lies
I heard how, I heard why
Why we’ll all perish, why we’ll all survive
When I listen to your call
I don’t hear anything at all
Well it’s coming along
We just keep moving on
It’s all been said, it’s all been done,
Before long it’ll all be gone
I don’t want it anymore
We’re not like we were before
I close my eyes and I see you again
I close my eyes and the world keeps on spinning
I break down piece by piece
I dream I don’t fall asleep
The ghosts in the next room wail and get
on with their lives, saying
“Nothing’s gonna fall back into place
But you can’t let go
When no one really knows
How to erase every trace”
I don’t want to slide away
You said at some point you’ve got to end it all,
Saying it’s all so relentless, it’s all so vile
I keep the levee in place
And I feel every mistake
The mask cracks and I can’t remember
what you look like
Nothing’s gonna fall back into place
But you can’t let go
When no one really knows
How to erase every trace—
I don’t want to slide away
